Tripping the Dimensional Rift
by Aoi24
Summary: Several excerpts set in various AUs both plausible and quite frankly ridiculous. High Schools, CP9, Water 7 and the most god-awful Marines since Garp. Fulfilment of my own challenge. Check my profile page for contributions from other writers. COMPLETE


**The great Multiverse Challenge!!**

I decided to post my own attempt at this before challenging anyone else.

I'm an enormous fan of Alternative Universe settings so I thought it'd be fun to try.

Rules:

Write minimum five drabbles.

The setting must have an obviously AU slant in a very overt way.

Example: Shanks as a marine. (I did this one for sure.)

Luffy never meets Shanks.

Sanji as a member of Baroque works. (Wait, I definitely wrote this in another fic.)

Luffy as a member of the revolutionary army.

Zoro as a demon that wandered out of hell. (kishishishishi)

Nami as state treasurer.

I decided to lead by example and promptly wrote far too much and of dubious levels too.

Varying quality but I had a hella lot of fun ^_________________^

Now, onwards to triumph……sorta.

* * *

1.) High School.

Mihawk glared at his coffee, the stack of marking and finally turned to Shanks.

"No."

The red-haired man folded himself across the table and whined.

"Marcooooooooooo."

"Hey, you keep me out of this, eh."

The blond man scowled and disappeared behind the newspaper. The other teachers in the lounge quickly did their best to look occupied once Shanks glanced around the room except for Robin who smiled sinisterly as if to say 'if you do, my revenge will be swift and brutal.'

Shanks thumped his hand on the table and grimaced apologetically as Mihawks coffee sloshed dangerously close to his stack of marking. Mihawk sniffed and brandished a red pen warningly.

"How can you be so callous, so cruel and uninterested? Such terrible adults."

Mihawk arched an elegant eyebrow.

"You may be willing to give up your weekend but I have other commitments."

Robin caught his eye and gave him an almost imperceptible wink.

Marco rustled his paper in an irritated manner

"Eh, that's not fair now. It's the long weekend and this is somewhat last minute. If you needed help you should have arranged it last month."

Shanks bounced across the staffroom and pulled down the front of the paper to give him his patented puppy eyes. Marco gave him an unimpressed look.

"I have tickets, I have plans and you are _not_ getting any help from me."

"Can't you reschedule?"

"No, I bloody well can't!!"

The door to the staffroom swung open admitting Ben from the history department and Smoker from Chemistry. They took in the scene lingering on Shanks hopeful gaze before swiftly backing out of the room, slamming the door decisively and ignoring the aggravated and terribly obscene curses resonating from inside the room.

"fufu Language. What if the students heard that?" Robin chuckled.

"Gah! I give up. Some educators you are! Where is your dedication to the youth of today?"

Robin sighed and took pity on him.

"Would you like for me to round up some available volunteers?"

Shanks wrapped his arms around her and sobbed into her shoulder.

"You are beautiful, intelligent, wonderful and Mihawk does not deserve you."

Marco snickered into the sport pages and Mihawk glowered over his coffee as if to say 'don't put ideas like that into her head.'

_______

"Alright campers!! We had a little problem but we are here, we are ready to roll."

Ace and Luffy cheered and the younger brother promptly fell off the boat into the water. Zoro quickly dived in after him while Usopp flailed.

Franky peered over his sunglasses at Shanks and Thatch put his head in his hands.

"We're not exactly out to a good start bro'"

Shanks huffed in outrage.

"Where's your team spirit? You volunteered, right."

Thatch coughed.

"Actually Miss Nico ehm, 'convinced' us"

Shanks scratched his beard.

"Oh, she blackmailed you then?"

"Pretty much."

Shanks grinned and clapped his hands together.

"Hahaha, that means you're mine for the weekend. Zoro, have you fished Luffy out yet?"

Thatch sighed and hoped dearly that this excursion did not become an annual event. They were only getting started and they were perilously close to losing some students already.

* * *

2.) Rebellion.

Luffy bounced in his chair arms waving wildly as he told Rouge about the boating trip that Mr. Shanks (_The_ most awesome teacher ever.) was organising.

His adoptive mother was a great listener and multi-tasker. She nodded and prompted at the right moments as she made a snack (D family style.) for both him and Ace. (Sanji had decided to bring lunches and offered to take barbecue duty but Rogue was not the sort of cruel person to send two hungry 'D' men off to visit a friend.)

"Luffy-chan, where's Ace? If he doesn't turn up soon I'm going to eat his Lunch."

(She wasn't kidding.)

Luffy warbled through a mouth full of food incomprehensible to civilised human beings but years of experience had taught Rouge to interpret.

So, a snarfling sound from Luffy became 'Ace is in his room and told me to go down and get lunch.' Which was further translated to her ears as 'My teenage son got a letter from his father and is sulking……again.'

She sighed and glanced up. But that letter had come Monday which meant that Ace should have been over his 'I refuse to acknowledge that worthless man as my father' snit by now which meant…..

Rouge stormed upstairs, knocked on the locked door before promptly kicking the door in ignoring the indignant squawk that this elicited from her first born.

(She knew how to fix the door so it wasn't really an issue.)

She placed her hands on her hips and stared Ace down for five minutes (a new record!) before he sheepishly revealed the tattoo bandage on his upper arm.

Well, that was alright then. At least it wasn't drugs. She ruffled his hair and dropped a kiss on his forehead.

"Come down and eat before your little brother devours it all."

Ace, slightly stymied, went downstairs and could be heard bickering with Luffy over lunch meats.

Rouge whistled as she fetched her toolbox. Teenage rebellion? She could handle that.

Tattoos were minor but all the same she'd better introduce him to her friend so he didn't get the next one mucked up.

* * *

3.) Regicide.

Ace was a prince.

In truth, he should have been king but he had spent the most recent years of his life and the end of his teens hiding out in backwaters from his numerous (inherited and otherwise) enemies.

Another truth was that he had no intention of going back to claim the 'throne' and if he knew where it was he would gladly dance on his worthless fathers grave. (In fact, if he didn't want people to know they were related he would have thrown a loud and raucous party on top of it but the bastard probably would have loved that.)

He drifted from place to place exploring the wilds of the world, never intending to return to the kingdom from which he was spawned.

He strayed north for a good portion of his teens not because he was afraid but because he was emphatically refusing to go back to that place no matter how much he missed what had been left behind.

…_mother…_

His bastard father may have been royalty but Rouge had certainly not been.

That's not to say that she wasn't spectacular, in fact she was one of those kind of women that proved so amazing that there never would be anyone that would measure up to her for her errant son. (Poor bereft young women of the world.)

It wasn't that he didn't miss her; it was that he did not believe that she would forgive him for choosing the other side and going against that man.

He was an ungrateful son and she deserved far better.

As far as he was concerned, her son was dead. It was better to mourn a lost one than to grieve an irredeemable traitor.

He received one of his irregular letters from Luffy and within it a message passed on from either Iva or Crocodile.

'Go West'

He needed no further instruction. They were on his tail and East Blue was unfavourable right now. (He'd only go South with the intent to die, not even if she died. He was dead; she should find happiness and forget she ever had a son.)

Of course, this being his luck, everything went in the crapper as soon as he crossed over the Red Line.

In short order, he got into a fight with some bastard called Teach (so much for his low profile) and after they'd been literally tearing up the island for an hour or so the frigging Whitebeard Pirates turned up. He hadn't a clue why, at first he was terrified that they were backup, which was the last thing he needed, but things got hella' confusing and he woke up on the deck of the Moby Dick.

He wasn't chained up in their brig (or in a bedroom for nefarious purposes and that had happened more times than he'd care to count) so it wouldn't have been so bad perhaps but they just _wouldn't let him go_.

It was if they suddenly decided that they quite simply liked the look of him and that they were going to adopt him like some sort of scrappy puppy and actually, after about a week of cheerfully thwarted escape attempts, Ace realised that's exactly what it was!!!

He couldn't beat them and raging did him no good whatsoever. He was constantly sore, tired (he didn't trust them near enough to sleep so all the rest he got was the random narcoleptic fit) and hungry.

But honestly, his pride was probably what was hurting the worst.

When he got dragged (nicely though) into a private conference with old Whitebeard himself and their top commanders he thought fate was an ironic bitch that was conspiring with luck to screw him over six ways to Sunday.

Then he asked him to become one of his sons.

The first thing he did was ask if it was a habit of his to adopt murderous kin-slaying revolutionaries or if he was a special case.

Then he laughed hysterically.

He had never wanted a father. He had hated the one he had. He had _murdered_ the one he had.

The giant of a man had laughed and repeated his offer telling him to 'go wild' under his name.

"I'm in hiding, you nutter." He spat. "I will always be on the run and I was trying to keep a damn low profile. Do you have any idea what kind of person you're inviting onto your ship? I don't want a father and I'm the worst kind of son."

The only reaction he got was amusement.

"You think you're the only one eh?" a blond guy spoke up (what was with that hair?) "We're all hated and scorned across the sea. We have nowhere to run to but here is our family and our home. We're accepted no matter our past."

Ace stared at him flatly, a dead look creeping onto his face. He traced his hand over the gouge in his face that had claimed his eye and left an impressive scar across his head.

"I _killed_ my father in cold blood and got this in return. I don't regret it for a minute and if I could I would dance on his grave." He stared the Pirate lord right in the eye "Are you so sure that you want to claim a son like that?"

Whitebeard grinned and ended it all with one word.

"Yes."

* * *

4.) Black Ops.

CP9 was the pride of the government.

The Admirals may have been the ultimate weapons but CP9 were the perfect tools. If you were to pit the two against each other CP9 would win. This is not because they are more powerful or experienced but because they are agents, the ninja of the world government. Their job is to accomplish their mission by any means possible and their training reflects that. Considering this, the admirals would be poisoned before they were even aware that they were in a confrontation.

Now, the CP9 as we have established is extremely elite. They stand at the very top of the tier. Logically only those who are extraordinarily talented, skilled and driven should comprise their ranks. Also, since they are testing recruits so stringently, it makes sense that the numbers that fulfil their criteria are very small. CP9 are infamous for being picky about recruits. The casualty rate of applicants is truly _appalling_. Sometimes applicants fail not because their skills are wanting but rather the CP9 agent testing them is in a pissy mood. (and all of the agents have done this at least once with Rob Lucci being the most brutal and Nico Robin the most upfront about it. She once killed a young male applicant for leering at her inappropriately. Multiple shigan is _not_ a pleasant way to die. Stupidity is also quite fatal)

Despite this the current generation of CP9 had a record high number of members, more than ten when historically seven was considered top class.

In the last few years the group had gone through some upheavals, not least the highly suspicious and violent death of their leader Spandam. There were fears of dissent within the ranks but it all came to naught and the group politely requested a _competent_ administrator for their cell. One of the young prodigies was promoted and former cell leader Spandine also met a terribly unfortunate end. Former members of CP9 were curiously silent on the subject but when it ended with that the Gorousei decided not to pursue it particularly when less than flattering reports regarding the men were unearthed.

It must be said that CP9 was unbearable smug about this time although reports of celebratory parties were unconfirmed.

Unusually, the current generation of agents were somewhat…….eccentric. For one thing the newly promoted leader was still in her teens and had been chosen far ahead of her senior agents.

Nami proved her worth as an agent with an extremely cunning mind. She gained her position from her brilliant strategic manoeuvres (and accounting) that pulled her fellow agents out of the fire more times than they'd care to mention. Also, she got on splendidly with the other two female agents to the point that they got referred to as 'the axis of evil' or 'pure evil given form and gigantic breasts'…….excepting Lucci who simply didn't verbalise it and Sanji who referred to them as 'glorious goddesses descending from heaven to grace such unworthy peons with their presence'.

With Nami in charge and leading a cell of super elite agents, their success rate shot through the roof dispelling any lingering doubts held by their superiors.

They still had an appalling rate of trainee casualties.

__

The current state of CP9 could be traced back to one man. We'd give you his name but he hasn't used one in years and his associates simply referred to him as 'the recruitment officer.' His current status is also unknown but even if he was confirmed to be dead it'd be lied about as he is somewhat of a 'bogeyman' in the Cipher Pol.

As a fighter he was mediocre by CP9 standards but as a trainer, brainwasher, secretary, confidante, spy, informant, hacker, thief, teacher and recruiter he was truly exceptional. In fact, it is men like this that were the foundations of CP9. There are only so many uses for superhuman tanks in the world but there are infinite jobs for cunning, inventive, manipulative and completely amoral individuals.

The first hint that he was going to build something incredible was when he 'rescued' Nico Robin.

To this day, no one knows what he said or did to her but when he was done she was a firmly convinced supporter of the World Government and him. He bypassed Spandine and directly applied to the Gorousei. She was promptly recruited into the training programme and the following week she could be seen learning martial arts alongside one Rob Lucci.

Spandine was _furious_ but told to butt out and follow orders. He was also cautioned that he had better stay away from her if he didn't want to experience the interior of Impel Down. Her value far outstripped his.

This man served as a handler to the trainees for a period overseeing Robin as she settled in. The melancholy child had changed from her experience and formed a strange sort of silent kinship with Lucci which would endure through their adulthood. Her intelligence was frightening and only outstripped by her dogged (inexplicable) devotion to her recruiter. She eventually grew to become one of the prides of Cipher Pol, a CP9 agent.

Aokiji only discovered what had happened to the small child he encountered on Ohara in her twenty-eighth year. He passed her in the halls of Enies Lobby and was stunned by his realisation. She had continued down the hallway accompanied by a blonde man smoking a cigarette and never looked back. The admiral didn't quite know how to react to he took his cues from the last Oharan and did nothing. What could he do?

It was mind-boggling but the Gorousei were satisfied. Everyone was desperate to know how he was doing it. Hypnosis? Devil fruit? Psychology? It was to no avail though for he kept his secrets and continued with his work.

__

He had a preference for pirates; their kin and those affected by their actions.

To that end he identified potential and removed several young people from their homes and took them into the program.

Among them was a disgruntled young chef with a chip on his shoulder. He had been taken in by the formerly infamous pirate 'Red-Leg' Zeff. The man had taught him much of his kick based martial arts before dying when his time starving on a rock in the ocean caught up to him with some brutal repercussions. Sanji took to _Soru, Rankyaku _and _Geppou_ like a duck to water. He mastered them in record time quickly validating the recruiters choice once again. (If only he wasn't so particular about using his hands in combat.)

__

Roronoa Zoro was an aspiring swordsman with monstrous potential. After going through training he demolished Kaku shattering both of his swords. (Despite this, no ill feeling existed between the two.) He grew at a phenomenal rate and quickly established himself as a major powerhouse within CP9.

Granted his sense of direction was unbelievably bad and he had an obsession with strong swordsmen and swords but he was an invaluable member of the team which many opponents found when he casually decimated their ranks. He had also built up a respectable collection of valuable swords even if he stuck to his favoured three. There had been some sort of altercation with a marine that possessed a _meitou_ and it ended with him laying a claim upon both the woman and the sword if deciding to come back for them both at a later date. But he was always a strange boy…

__

Usopp was a terrible coward and a liar to boot. But they took in a mourning little boy and shaped him into one of the most brilliant spies and snipers on the planet. He could get in anywhere, obtain almost any information and shoot anything. They eventually drummed his dislike of guns out of him but he was allowed to continue using his slingshots having proven their superior nature in certain subtle situations.

__

Nami had been rapidly extracted from a bad situation in East Blue and the marines sent in to clean up. The massacre had been particularly brutal. Her intelligence and ruthless nature were well suited to this sort of work and she prospered. (Any teenager that could effortlessly keep Jyabura in line and held all the men by the financial balls was worthy of respect.) It helped that her life had been destroyed by pirates.

__

Luffy was a special case. For one thing he was incredibly stupid, another he made friends with the most inappropriate people and finally he was completely insane. At times he acted carefree and truly childlike but in the midst of battle he was ruthless and decisive.

It was like he possessed some sort of split personality.

How the recruiter had managed to get his hands on the grandson of 'Garp the hero' was beyond anyone but the Vice-admiral was kept in the dark long enough that the next time he saw his grandson was when a youth wearing a black suit and incongruously a battered straw hat bounded down the hall of a marine base before shrieking 'Grandpa' in utter terror and running the other way.

Garps rage was truly impressive but that point Luffy was CP9 to the bone. It was at the time that the recruiter removed himself, ostensibly on a mission but it was obvious to all he was sensibly getting out of the line of fire.

Luffy didn't understand but the other agents could see the age and grief upon the old man who while he didn't want his grandson to be a pirate he certainly didn't want him to be a certified cold blooded assassin.

This was the last time that the recruiter was seen even if notifications and messages were still sent in. The man himself, rather than make a bid for leadership of CP9 simply vanished into the Oceans and was never seen in person again. It was rumoured that his brainwashing had finally turned on him and one of his 'recruits' had assassinated him. No evidence or trace was ever put forward and regular updates were sent in for another decade.

While his assassination by members of the CP9 was entirely possible and very likely few considered that the family of Monkey D. Luffy took it upon themselves to mete out justice. Considering that Revolutionary Dragon _was_ informed of his sons' status it does merit some consideration.

__

"Today is a day for greatness!!" Nami shouted as she pounded her fist upon the desk.

Sanji twirled in the background hearts flying everywhere. "Nami-swan is so beautiful when she's demonstrating leadership skills."

The cell commander ignored him and continued on undeterred.

"The team dispatched to Water 7 has completed their mission successfully and is returning to base this afternoon."

She punctuated her statement by throwing a _thunderbolt tempo_ at Fukurou for attempting to unzip his mouth.

Robin chuckled as she sipped her tea "It will be good to see the others again. I wonder how much they've grown."

"Feh, they've probably gone soft hanging out with civilians." Jyabura snorted.

Sanji lit up a cigarette and took a drag.

"Oi, Mutt. You don't seriously believe that Rob Fucking Lucci would let himself relax?"

"Chapapapapa. Lucci relaxes when he spends time with..."

The chattering was silenced by multiple arms grasping his mouth closed and rezipping it. Robins eyes glinted with malice and he wisely did not attempt to speak again.

Nami smiled in gratitude towards Robin who tilted her coffee cup in acknowledgement.

"Thank you nee-san. Now regarding our other missions. Thanks to my marvellous planning and you behaving yourselves for once we have cleared the deck. So we finally have access to a full roster and can commit all of our resources to a new mission that the Gorousei have been waiting for us to fulfil."

Usopp slouched back on the sofa. "No chance of a vacation then?"

"And where exactly would you go?" came a voice from the floor.

"That's not the point. I'd like some time off to go relax, visit old friends, stuff like that and Zoro, get off the floor!! If you must take a nap at least use one of the couches."

"Hey, long nose has a point though. Do we get some time off or do we have to go straight to the next mission" Jyabura interjected "Hey, what about you Strawhat? Don't you want to visit your family?"

Luffy jerked and tilted his head "Family?"

Jyabura snorted in disgust and waved his hands in the air.

"Y'know, your family! Your grandfather Garp, remember him? And you've probably got more you never mentioned. A brother or something…"

Luffy struck too fast for anyone to stop him. Jyabura went flying through the wall and Nami massaged her temples. "That idiot…" she growled "He knows that you can't ask Luffy things like that."

She made a sharp gesture to which Sanji and Kumadori quickly responded and bounded through the gaping hole in the wall to retrieve the Wolf Zoan.

Luffy was cheerfully chatting to Robin. He made no indication as to what he had done and cheerfully greeted the three when they re-entered the room.

Nami sighed and made a notation in her books. She'd bill Jyabura for this as everyone knew not to ask Luffy about his long-deceased brother who had some sort of accident in their childhood.

The sole remaining grandson of Monkey D. Garp tended to react 'violently' to any mention of the boy Ace. Robin had theorised that this was a major factor in his recruitment to CP9. Luffy had experienced a profound trauma letting his mind snap. Certain triggers caused him to assault anyone in his way. Once, when passing through East Blue on their way back from a mission they encountered a minor pirate crew. Zoro had been mildly disturbed and concerned for his friends' welfare. Luffy had murdered every pirate there and used some sort of technique to crush the sole devil fruit user amongst the crew. (They had later identified it as _Haki_) The boy was certifiably unhinged but he followed orders so that put him in the same category as the rest of the agents.

How could they complain when the rest of their agents had some sort of character deficiency ranging from oral fixation to sexualised sadism. It was like some sort of fractured lottery. Out of all of them, Blueno was probably the most well adjusted and that was far from a recommodation.

__

With the cyborg Cutty Flam safely locked up and the blueprints secured the agents were free to greet their comrades and relax as much as CP9 ever did.

Nami had brought out two Devil fruit with a great flourish (and much wiggling from Sanji.)

"Oy, Witch. Did you actually pay for these? Did hell freeze over or something?"

Sanji descended upon Zoro and the two began bouncing off the walls each attempting to tear a hole in the other.

Nami giggled gleefully "Usopp helped me 'obtain' them. Of course if you don't want them I could always auction them off…"

Lucci coughed meaningfully and raises an eyebrow causing Nami to pout.

"Anyway," Nami said "We're all going to be working together on this next mission. It'll require some measure of subtlety but overwhelming power at the same time so it should make use of all our assets."

The members of CP9 all sat up, giving Nami their full attention.

"Straight from the Gorousei themselves, they want us to 'hinder' any of the Yonkou _by any means possible_."

* * *

5.) Artistry.

When Sanji was seven, he watched his mother cook. She flew around the kitchen, a whirl of ingredients, fabric and sunshine. The cake had been nothing more than a masterpiece of love and icing.

When Sanji was ten, he had already decided that he was going to be a masterchef not simply because he was a person that _damn well_ appreciated food but because he wanted to create art in food. Meals that looked and tasted magnificent and stayed with the diner long after the taste was gone.

He decided to demonstrate this dedication by banging on the door of the _Baratie_ restaurant, cursing out the staff and demanding that the 'Shitty old man' give him a job because he was going to be the god damned greatest chef in the world if he had to murder an Iron Chef to do it!!

When he was fourteen, Zeff trusted him enough to assist him directly and cook enough dishes that they had to be breaking _every_ labour law regarding youths but it wasn't like anybody in the restaurant gave a damn.

This was also the year he met Usopp.

__

The first time he saw Usopp the youth was perched up in the tree outside of the school.

Sanji paid him no heed.

The second time was when Usopp had painted a mural on the side of the school in support of his friend who was competing in the Taekwando regional championships. It earned him a month of detention because he got nervous and babbled when the principal put pressure on him. Sanji had been impressed by the composition, which depicted a lanky black haired young boy lunging forward and a whirl of colour surrounding him. When Luffy was introduced to him by verve of crashlanding on his back, sending him face first into the mat, in gym class he realised that what Usopp had tried to capture was not the image but the feeling of _sheer energy_ that surrounded Luffy.

The fifteenth time he saw Usopp was when he was on his way back from a Chinatown store the _Baratie_ patronised for spices. Usopp was perched high in a tree in someones garden and leaning in towards an upper floor window. He thought the tanned boy was talking to a girl (Ah~Mellorine!)

When Sanji passed by the other wall he heard their voices clearly. Usopp was telling her stories and he was once more impressed with his creativity.

The fifty-third time he saw Usopp was when they were assigned to work together on an Art project. Their project was to design a piece around an everyday object. Sanji had shrugged and told Usopp that the only thing he really knew was cooking.

Usopp had immediately latched onto that and suggested that they design a cake.

Sanji described, made directions and Usopp drew.

The hundred and fifth time he saw Usopp he made their cake.

The restaurant had been closed so Zeff had let them use the kitchen.

Sanji was a brilliant chef, no doubt about that, and Usopp was a creative genius.

It was beautiful and extraordinarily delicious. They were obviously a great team.

Sanji had long lost count of all of the times he had met Usopp by now and to be honest he couldn't imagine his life without the curly haired boy.

Of all the friends he had made in recent years Usopp was the one with whom he had the most in common.

It wasn't completely obvious though. (Luffy certainly didn't get it.)

Sanji and Usopp, each in their own way, were artists.

* * *

6.) Exasperation.

Sengoku had a headache and not everybody had arrived yet.

That man….he was as bad as Garp!!

He peered through the doorway and the vice-admiral in the meeting room waved cheerily at him brandishing an extra large bottle of rum.

"Yo, Fleet Admiral," he cheered "Come join the party."

Sengoku sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose for what seemed like the umpteenth time this afternoon.

"Vice-Admiral Shanks, this is a Shichibukai meeting, not a party."

Shanks blinked and tilted his head to the side.

"What's your point?"

The famed Fleet-Admiral wondered how upset the Gorousei would be if he strangled the famed Marine….and why wasn't Tsuru doing anything? She was sitting right there too!!

He decided right there and then that he would also dearly like to know why Mihawk was even there in the first place and stoically grasping a tankard of ale.

Donflamingo perched on the table, due to his inability to _sit normally_, and cackled waving a bottle of something malodorous and enjoying himself immensely.

Even Kuma was holding a cup of something even if he never saw him take a drink of it.

'I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. Why in gods' name couldn't he have sailed off to patrol Shabondy for those Supernovas or gone on vacation to East Blue like he chooses to do at the most _inopportune_ times.'

"Maa"

"Shanks, do not give my goat liquor!!"

"Hey, I think he likes it. He's guzzling it down like anything."

Fortunately for the red head, which definitely saved his life when viewed retrospectively, Captain Beckham arrived leading Crocodile.

"Ben!" Shanks cheered "you're here, I missed you, did you bring anymore booze?"

The grey haired marine merely arched an eyebrow and puffed on his cigarillo stepping neatly to the side and allowing the Sand logia Shichibukai to take a seat at the table.

"Vice-admiral Shanks, Luffy has returned from his mission. He's supposed to be in the infirmary so he'll be in the mess hall."

Shanks bounced in his chair gleefully "This calls for a celebration!! I know we've got some of that Sake Makino stocks."

Ben coughed.

Shanks looked at him aghast. "We're out already? Then we have to go back and see her immediately."

Tsuru interrupted in a mildly amused tone "Why don't you just order directly from her supplier?"

Shanks turned the full blast of his piteous puppy face upon her while Ben rolled his eyes and Sengoku put his face in his hands.

"But then I won't get to see Makino-chan!"

Sengoku whined internally, the only thing that could make this worse right now…

"Bwahahahaha. Everyone's gathered here!"

"Oh gods no."

* * *

7.) Katana.

Zoro had a gift for swords.

He understood them as if they spoke to him some said.

Zoro said that they did.

Which is why his family members would grin and ruffle his hair when he said it.

'That's proof you belong here then. You're one of us little Marimo.'

__

"Hey, Hey Zoro. You can make swords right? That's AWESOME."

Zoro blinked up at the gangly teen sparkling down at him.

"No, I only sharpen them. It takes more than one person to make a good sword anyway."

Luffy whirled away and proceeded to challenge Kidd to a battle using their rulers. Zoro took this as a sign to go back to sleep.

__

"Shitty old man, what the hell is this mess?"

Sanji snarled and struggled through the explosion of crates that seemed to have bred since he went to school.

Zeff merely snorted and turned a page in the paper

"I told you we inherited some items from my cousin Krieg."

"Shithead couldn't have given us money instead, could he?"

"We are the proud recipients of his entire collection of military memorabilia."

"The fuck?"

"Guns and Swords eggplant."

__

"Oi! Shitty Marimo." Sanji kicked his desk and Zoro took a swing at the blond with his ruler.

"We've got stuff for your old man so come over and help me move it."

"Fuck, no."

"Too bad, you and I have no choice in the matter. You think I give a damn about useless shitty swords?"

Zoro perked up at that.

"You and your old man better be feeding me love-cook."

Sanji sneered but his response was cut off by the entrance of Nami which necessitated immediate activation of mellorine mode.

Zeff had done some sort of deal with his family so they took possession of all of the swords and would clean, sharpen and evaluate them for a portion of the sale.

__

The teenager yawned as he made his way into the workshop. His father was finishing breakfast but his grandfather was already there, preparing for the days work.

He greeted him and gestured towards the side rooms.

"We've sorted through most of the stuff. There's a sword in particular I'd like you to take care of it."

Zoro nodded and went into the side room.

There were a few boxes holding swords due to be worked on stored in here. The one his grandfather had referred to was sitting on the low table and he reached for it eagerly. If his grandfather wanted him to examine it specifically it must have been interesting.

The latch clicked and the lid swung open to reveal a magnificent white katana. Zoro froze before lifting it reverently. Those markings, that blade and that setting were all unmistakable. This katana was definitely a _Meitou_. A true treasure indeed.

Something was off though, especially for a sword of this unmistakable calibre. He completely removed the sheathe and set it down on the carry case before brandishing the sword itself aloft to properly examine the blade.

"Hey, what do you think you are doing?"

He glanced down to see a fuming girl sporting a black bob.

'Ah, there you are.'

She stormed up to him and while he found it hilarious that this child barrelling down on him like a ferocious tiger didn't even reach his shoulder his expression never flickered.

"I'm preparing the blade to be sharpened."

She took a step back aghast.

"You think you can just go and sharpen _my_ sword without so much as a by-your-leave? Return it at once!!"

He regarded her flatly "No."

She lunged for his throat but he easily held her back with a hand on her forehead letting her flail and wave her arms in fury.

When she had quietened he arched an eyebrow.

"Are you quite done?"

She nodded furiously.

"Good. What's your name?"

"Kuina."

"No, no it's not."

This set her off screaming again.

"You steal my sword and challenge my integrity? My honour will not stand for this! I challenge you."

"No."

"Have you no honour or pride as a swordsman?"

Zoro regarded her flatly

"Not in todays' world. It's illegal to carry swords or duel without a special license."

She blinked and stared at him in bewilderment not resisting when he led her to sit at the table before he resumed his survey of the blade.

"This is a named sword, a _Meitou._ Correct?"

She nodded and kept her gaze trained on him as he finished his inspection and re-sheathed the sword reverently.

"I never thought I'd get near a _Meitou_ before I finished school and one of the _21 Ō Wazamono_ to boot."

Kuina eyed him speculatively

"You do know your swords, dishonourable blade thief."

He gave her an annoyed look.

"You're a very strange little sword, I hope you know that. Most blades are thrilled to be sharpened by my family."

She rose in rage and lunged for the sword. However when Kuina made to raise it, she froze. For several minutes she stood hunched over her fingers brushing the material of the scabbard. He sat patiently before she withdrew and sat down at the table once more refusing to meet his eyes.

He observed for a moment before speaking again.

"I know the status of this blade but I would like you to confirm the name if you would."

The younger girl raised dull eyes to meet his penetrating gaze.

"This is the _Wadō Ichimonji_ isn't it?"

"Yes."

"The last recorded owner was Koshiro Shimotsuki. It was thought to be lost."

"No…it was mine, I was heir but…."

The silence stretched between them before Zoro lifted the katana and strode out of the room.

__

She knelt in the corner and watched him work.

His movements were elegant and strong. It was if he was gliding through a familiar kata, one he had done all of his life.

"It's fine, you know. You've done what few swordsmen ever achieve."

"?"

"You became one with your sword."

He smiled at her stunned expression and displayed the reassembled sword.

"Beautiful isn't it? A true work of art."

She smiled and lay her hands across the blade.

"A katana fit for the greatest in the art indeed."

__

He saw her in the bookstore a few days beforehand. Usopp and Law had dragged him in cackling about the latest chapter of MPD Psycho while Sanji had twirled off to chase the girls milling around the gossip magazines or failing that, stake out the porno rack. He only noticed her because she fell over and took a rack of tourbooks with her.

So when she turned up at the workshop and presented them with her ornate _Shigure_ he immediately identified her as 'that clumsy girl that got thrown out of the bookshop in town.'

Tashigi looked like Kuina, in fact Zoro was extremely weirded out by it to the point that Kuina would stand behind her and imitate her expressions in a successful attempt to freak him out.

_Shigure_ was displayed alongside _Wado_. Zoro didn't know what possessed him to do that but when he showed her she nearly had a heart attack on the spot. She started babbling about swords, _meitou_ and steel pedigree while she darted around and examined the swords from every possible angle.

Zoro, Kuina and Shigure watched her enthusiasm bemused but impressed. Kuina tugged on Shigure's sleeved and Shigure whispered to Zoro.

'She could perceive us too, if you were to guide her.'

He wondered when he had sunk so low as to take orders from swords but shrugged and asked her if she would like to see his grandfather work.

You'd think he'd proposed the way she reacted.

* * *

8.) Craft.

Water 7 was technically a summer island. The buildings suffered as much from the sun as they did from the rain. The Aqua Laguna was extreme but it also was the worse weather conditions they'd experience all year.

To Usopp, the strong and robust sunshine had been as much as part of his life as the shipyards. He didn't remember the island in East Blue where he had been born and spent the first few years of his life.

Or his father.

__

Banchina had packed up and made the difficult voyage to that part of the ocean and settled with her young son in the rapidly expanding city. She easily found employment and was able to expand her training making a comfortable living for the both of them making eyeglasses for an Optician associated with some hospitals.

Usopp loved Water 7 like he had never loved Syrup village. The winding streets were full of secrets to explore, people from all corners of the Blues passed through full of interesting stories and sporting unusual clothing. Everyday he had something new to explore, new things to see. He practised with his slingshot all the time but didn't realise how good he had gotten until he accidentally killed the pet budgie of the lady who lived upstairs. He was only ten at the time and was naturally horrified, he hadn't honestly thought he'd be able to hit it. There was a lot of noise but Auntie O from upstairs quickly forgave him upon seeing his heartfelt regret. She ruffled his hair and suggested that he trust in his own skills more and to not do that again.

__

When Usopp was twelve, his mother died. It was the month following the Aqua Laguna. He wondered vaguely if she had worked herself to death. There had been days when she was gone before he woke up and didn't return until after he was asleep. He had been old enough to have noticed the deterioration of her health and struggled with a sense of guilt. The doctor had assured him that it was not the case and in fact, Banchina had prolonged her life with access to good medicines and doctors that she would not have gotten if she had stayed in her home town. He buried her, supported by their friends and neighbours to discover the last thing his mother had done for him was arrange for his future.

They hadn't lived extravagantly so she had managed to save a respectable amount in preparation for this day. The arrangements for a smaller, cheaper flat more suitable for Usopp had been made, the bills had been paid and he was offered his apprenticeship with Galley-La carpenters.

Usopp was struck by the measures his mother had laid down for him.

_How she prepared for her own death..._

__

He was small and wiry but inordinately clever with a gift for the technical aspects of design. He had met the newly minted company president Iceburg-san and voiced his concerns but the older man had dismissed them and told him that as long as he applied himself, the rest would come.

Gallley-La believed in the value of hard work. Usopp possessed a general apprenticeship that Iceburg had instituted allowing potential shipwrights to learn from the best teacher for them. He picked up the theory and design aspects quickly enough, the more physical aspects of the profession took longer. He did well and nearing the end of his apprenticeship he was working directly under Paulie-san. Usopp loved Galley-La and didn't think that anything would really change too much once he was fully qualified. Paulie had hinted that he had a good chance of getting a high position in weaponry or rigging in a couple of years. This probably would have been his life if he hadn't met that guy on the streets of Water 7.

__

When a pirate with a battered straw hat grinned and asked him to join his crew Usopp wasn't sure whether to agree or not. With all of the chaos that occurred in the days that followed he mostly pushed it from his mind but Luffy kept drawing him in.

Despite the tattoo of 'it's crazy, don't do it. Are you really admitting to be his son?' drumming inside his skull he found himself grabbing his Kabuto, disguising himself with a mask and boarding the train with the others to chase after their nakama.

He followed the strawhats into the bowels of Enies Lobby straddling the line between pant-wetting terror and adrenaline.

Some of the marines had laughed at his slingshot……right before he blasted them off the island. Just because he didn't like guns didn't mean that he didn't know his explosives dammit!! He designed a more efficient cannon for Galley-La that had been praised by Iceburg-san himself!

He spent the following days debating with his conscience before deciding that he didn't actually care about his pirate father. There was no resentment at all, just a complete lack of interest. Usopp had spent his life raised by a skilled and self-sufficient woman and the greater part of his teenage years training under some of the greatest shipwrights in the world. He had practical skills, his shooting that he had honed against belligerent pirates (from a distance, naturally) but he had put his childhood dreams aside in favour of practical survival.

__

He faced Luffy and offered to take him up on his offer but not in the way originally intended.

He didn't really consider himself a shipwright like Franky, Paulie or Iceburg-san; he technically never finished his apprenticeship.

He was the son of a pirate and a craftswoman.

At his core, he was a sniper.

* * *

1.) The ever popular high school AU except this one focuses on the teachers and there's a conspicuous absence of Mary-Sue. Shanks is such a dedicated teacher even if I have no idea what the man would teach....

2.) Actually based in the same AU. Where Rouge lives and kicks ass (and doors) In this AU, Ace still has epic daddy issues and ignores the letters he perioically gets from Roger who is....I don't know off doing something Roger-like somewhere.

3.) AU where Roger was king and Rogue one of the peasantry. Ace never forgave Roger for ruining her life (in his opinion) and joined up with the revolutionaries. He assassinated Roger (who claimed his eye and left him with a large scar along his cheek, face and head. Thus Ace is constantly on the lamb for Regicide.

4.) Just a thought that all agents have to be 'recruited' in some form. I liked the idea of them being scouted and brainwashed by a manipulative amoral bastard for the government. Ace died in his childhood causing Luffy to snap and go slightly unhinged. Cocoyashi was eventually decimated with most of the citizens slaughtered by the Fishmen pirates. Zeff died from complications arising from his extended period of starvation.

5.) Different High School AU where Sanji is Sanji and Usopp is Usopp.

6.) Marine!Shanks. The world weeps. Him and Garp on the same side, it breaks my brain. I swear there's a marine!Luffy fic waiting to be born from this madness.

7.) Ever read the manga _Katana?_ (Well, you should.) I needed to have something where Zoro can 'see' swords and is born into a swordsmithing family. It amuses me to imagine him sitting with his three swords bickering and shouting at him for attention.

8.) Banchina packs up and moves to Water 7 taking her young son with her. She arranges for Usopp to take up an apprenticeship in the up and coming Galley-La. Usopp loves his life but is sorely tempted by the appearance of Luffy and his crew.


End file.
